The results are in....

So today's news what just short of what would have made a really great day. I got the results which indicated I am speaking french at the B level.

The goal was to get the C level, but its a B, and I am actually coping rather well with the news.

As I said in the past... a strong B is good grounds to tell management that I was pulled from language training just shy of the initial goal... and with a little support, the last leg of the race can be accomplished.

I am not sure what the next steps are... I do know that I have given it my best effort, and I will continue to work diligently to uphold this strong B level. I know the C level isn't far off, and hopefully I can muster up the courage to get back on the horse, and ride again - should the training opportunity present itself in the near future.

I would really like to thank all my readers for their support... you really have no idea how much your comments, emails, and phone calls meant to my success! Thank-you!

I hope to move on from this little hurdle... and get back to some lovely rants on issues other then French training!

Hang in there folks, I have a few posts brewing that are long over-due!
As always... stay tuned!

She's back!

That's right folks, I am back in action in government communications - and surprisingly in a pretty decent mood about the whole thing.

Today... felt a bit like the first day back to school after a long summer vacation. It was like going back into an old environment where everything felt new again (kind of an exciting feeling)!

PC was making fun of me last night because I layed out my clothes for today... only because around 9:30 last night I had a little panic attack when I realized I hadn't tried on any of my work clothes in 14 months. So... I began rooting through the closet... and when I found a pair of pants that fit me, I layed them on the bed so they would be ready for this morning! But apparently, according to PC it was something a kid would do in preparation for the first day of school - okay... point taken.

Today ended up being the quickest day of my entire career... from start to finish, the day flew by. I had visitors all morning and afternoon... which basically meant no time to do much, although I did manage to unpack a few boxes, and throw out a bunch of old documents that I no longer thought were important (I think its funny how I kept a lot of files thinking they would come in handy in the future, but today, upon reflection I couldn't remember one thing about any of them... obviously they weren't that important).

The weird part about being back was that there were a lot of new faces... many who didn't recognize me. I am sure half of think I am new, and I hate being the new girl! After about the fourth strange look, I considered making a t-shirt for myself stating:

I SURVIVED LANGUAGE TRAINING

(14 loooooooooong months)

I AM NOT NEW

I am sure in time they will come to realize that I am the one, the only, the famous Sara Coleman: bitter by day, better by night! Happy to serve those who appreciate my work, not so happy to be questioned about every decision I make! (However, I should probably leave out those details, and see if they come to their own conclusions).

Moving on... once I got past the strange looks, then came the friendly visitors, hugs, smiles, and familiar laughter.... if only every day at the CRA could be this pleasant and carefree!

An interesting part to the day was the fact that I got strategic visits from DG's, directors, managers, and colleagues, all offering warm words of re-welcome, but at the same time testing my french skills. I think half of them were probably wondering if I could really parle en français after 14 months of language training... which I actually managed to do well for a Monday! I also liked the fact that I got to use my french at work.... the fear that always exists for us survivors of language training program is that after this major hurdle, you will lose all your skills if you don't use them, AND I am not about to let that happen! I am hoping this French treatment continues.... its the best medicine for my particular situation.

The positives about being back are that I am actually excited to get some work going, get back to my clients, and get fired up about the world of government communications. I hope this attitude lasts, however, I am still waiting for the bombshell results of my oral interview - so that could definitely have serious effects to this honeymoon stage.

But for now, I am going to enjoy the champagne and strawberries, and let the good times roll!

Winds of Change

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

There its out. Its done. Its over.

I can breathe again.

The drive into Ottawa was actually not too bad... SLOW, but I got to school in plenty of time to have some light conversation with my teacher and a classmate. We ended up talking about how unnatural is to talk at the government C level. To pass the interview they want you to have well-structured responses for simple conversations. My example this morning went something like this:

In order to cross the street successfully, its necessary that you look both ways before approaching an intersection. Given that traffic is heavy in downtown Ottawa, I would suggest keeping in mind three main things during this process. First, you need to verify that the crossing light says walk. Then, you should assure yourself that all cars have come to a complete stop before crossing. Finally, in order to complete this process, you must be cautious of other pestridans who may also be crossing at the same intersection. Therefore, the reason for which we cross the street is to get to the other side.

I know, it sounds extra stupid in english... but it is bascially what they want to hear in a French interview. Of course the questions are more about your work, but simply undestanding the question and giving a response is not enough, it must be complex, and well-structured or you might as well not even show up.

Of course, this complex sentence structure was on my mind all night... and so this morning I was a little tense at school, but the teacher seemed to get me speaking and feeling more comfortable with my second langauge by about 10 AM.

At 10:30, I wrapped it up and headed over to the examination centre. I was suprisingly calm during the wait period... and then out of nowhere, some super tall skinney French dude calls my name in a very deep voice: Sa-ra-Cole-man.

It was judgement time.... but surprisingly the guy was easy to understand and he gave the odd smile of encouragement. When I entered his office, everything was purple, so I cracked a little joke saying: votre bureau est violet, c'est rare! To which he immediately laughed and told me its wasn't his first choice.

Okay... so we were off to a good start. However, its hard to really feel good about the interview, because I know at times I must have screwed up, but gerenally speaking, I never felt blind-sided by any of the questions, and I was able to use a lot of the key words and sentence structures my teacher and I have been practising.

Its definitely up in the air... it could go either way. If I didn't get my C level, I definitely got a strong B, which will further add to the argument that with a just a few more weeks of training, I could be at my final goal (if your listening management)!

When I arrived home this afternoon I was so exhausted.... the feeling of having finished 14 months of training was a little overwhelming. But one thing is for sure, I will not miss the sleepless nights, the bitchiness, the moodiness, the crying episodes, and the days of feeling sorry for myself... hopefully these things are over too. I am pretty sure the next month with be the final leg of the emotional rollercoaster - back to work, back to reality, and dealing with the highs and lows of searching for a fresh start.

I know I am happy to be making these changes, and I can guarantee that PC is doing his own little happy dance too... but we will see who laughs last by the end of the week because I've been too busy to notice the crumbs he has been leaving on the coffee table, the shoes he doesn't put in the closest, and the coats he's been hanging on the banister.

Oh yes... life in Embrun is about to change too.
Should be interesting.... stay tuned!

No one said it would be easy!

I awoke at 5:51 am to the sound of ice pellets hitting the window.... and thought to myself, if I want to accomplish something today I am going to have to fight to do it. However, the good sign was that when I turned on the radio in the shower Beyonce was singing her little heart out: I'm a survivor, I'm not gonne give up... I am survivor keep on survivin' - fitting don't you think?

So.... I am almost done getting ready, and hoping that I can at least make it into Ottawa to give myself a chance... I am sure the drive won't be nerve-racking, drivers will be attentive, and everything will go smoothly... its just another day - YA RIGHT.

Wish me luck as I think there is an adventure instore for me today!

If I make it back all in one piece, I will update tonight.
10-4!

Pay it forward!

This post is a shout out to the one generous teacher at my French school (Interlangues) who offered to work with me one-on-one today, without receiving any pay for her efforts.

I have to say, this morning has been by far the most rewarding 4 hours of French training. Seriously... we hammered through some tough questions this morning, and I was super impressed with my capacity to parle français ce matin!

This is really all thanks to this little gesture that one person made... I know that no matter what the results are tomorrow, she has definitely contributed to my success and confidence going into this mother of an interview and because of this I feel the need to somehow pay it forward.

I will be forever grateful for her help.... the world really needs more of these people, and I hope that in the future I will be able to do the same for someone in need: offer to help in a difficult situation even though there isn't really anything in it for me.

MERCI BEAUCOUP CATHERINE D. - YOU ROCK!!!!

Ahhh.... its nice to feel some good energy!
One day to go.... so I am gonna keep on truckin!!!

Workin at the car wash!

Today... I spent 15 minutes in line waiting for a car wash.... while there I was talking out loud to myself in French.... trying to invision my interview on Friday while at the same time speaking loudly and enunciating every word (this is something my teacher has recommended doing in order to improve my confidence).

I thought I was being cool, and I thought that the other 10 cars in line were doing their own thing, but after about 10 minutes of being 'in the zone'.... I realized that both the driver in front of me and behind me were completely focused on me with that 'what the hell is she doing?' look on their faces.

It was at this point, that I closed my mouth immediately and gave each of them my smile of embarrassment without making a second glance in the mirror. HOWEVER... what I really wanted to do what get out of the car, march over to their windows and yell:

'Look it here people, I am WORKING, I know it may not look like it to you but this is what my jobs requires these days. I have a test to pass on Friday, so I would appreciate it if you could MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS so I can continue enunciating every word in Canada's second official language'

Hopefully they couldn't read my mind.... or else they would have really thought I was a crazy woman.

Two days to go.... and then its back to the real world!

You can probably sense that I am a weeeeeeee bit stressed out about the whole thing (thus the reason for bad grammar & spelling errors!) but in a weird way I am feeling good about my second language speaking abilities (whether I can sing to the tune of an evaluation interview or not). I am mostly looking forward to getting my life back and regaining my competency as a communications advisor.... its been quite some time since I actually did the job they are paying me for.

However.... I digress!
I must go and close my blinds so I can lock myself in a room and begin my enunciation exercises again!!!

As you can tell, its going to be fun times dans la petite ville d'Embrun ce soir!

The post with no name!

No sure what is going on with blogger these days, it doesn't want to cooperate for posting, so you will have to bear with me.

I am gearing up for the big French oral interview this Friday, so I don't have time to fight with it.

I will once again have to ask for your patience as I prepare to nail this French interview to the wall.

The bad news is a cold is brewing... PC is pretty much down and out with it, and I have the dry, sore, throat right now. While we will attempt to sleep in seperate beds to avoid harming one another, the damage may already have been done.

While the lack of posting may annoy you, I invite you to visit some links on the right hand side, under the heading BLOGS I READ. You will find some really amusing blogger friends of mine that may fill the void while I am off stressing out over this interview... but don't forget about me!!!

Hopefully I will get a short update in later in the week!
Until then, pray for me!

J'ai reussi... Niveau C!

Finally... some good news in the French department.

Two weeks ago from yesterday, I wrote my comprehension exam ... and have since been patiently waiting for the results.

This morning, when I arrived at school early (that's right, I said EARLY... toot toot!), I was greeted with the good news, I obtained my level C in comprehension!

Words can not express what a relief this is... I only have my oral interaction left to do, and my preparation for the interview is coming along nicely. I am hoping to be finished in April... so I am in offically in 'the home stretch'.

Anyways... I just wanted to share the good news, with my faithful readers who have had to listen to all my trials and tribulations over the past year. Hopefully I will have more good news to share in a few months!

Reason to swear like a trucker

Today... marks 365 days since I began my French training nightmare.

DAMN, SHIT, F%$&.

That would be:

One whole year of my life that I will never get back.

One year that I will never be able to account for.

One year that I could have spent contributing to the improvement and well-being of your government.

One year that I spent mostly in tears over my inability to grasp the second official language of this country.

If that doesn't make you swear at yourself, I don't know what does.

These last 365 days have been pretty damn depressing.... I have felt sorry for myself more times in this year then I have in my entire 26.96 years of existence. The crying that ensued over trying to learn this damn language these past 52 weeks was ridiculous... even I can admit that, but you just don't know it feels until you've been there.

Speaking of tears.... excuse me while I shed a few more:

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I promise to be back tomorrow in better spirits, but for today I will bathe in my own self-pity... and swear like a trucker to cope with the significance of this sad day!

The French in me has taken over!

It's official... the French have had their way with me.

Short of having the tacky blow up lawn ornaments all over our yard, I am convienced that this damn French training has taken over the all the witty, rational, and intelligent anglais in me.

First our exterior Christmas lights were on before the 1st of December, and as of yesterday at 5 pm, mon arbre de Noël is up, lit, and well decorated.

I couldn't help myself yesterday, with the snow falling... I took one look at the Christmas tree box on the living room floor, and ripped it open with franglais pride.

PC decided to head to the wood show with Scottie Don't and Dad C... and I was left in the comfort of my own home to do nothing - but for once I was actually productive!

I am officially decorated for Christmas, now all I need to do is buy the 89 gifts to throw under the tree, and I can sit, back, relax, and start eating the holidays away!

Here are a few pics of my efforts... and some of the outside of our house as well... enjoy!

Out on a day pass!

Today, I had the pleasure of joining my colleagues at an all-day staff meeting. This meant a day pass out of solitary confinement (a.k.a French Language Training).

While I normally don't enjoy meetings, especially all-day meetings, this particular meeting had some positive factors for me.

For one thing... they fed us all. day. long.

But more importantly... I realized I have made progress in French, visible progress that wasn't apparent to me until I sat through a 55 minute presentation, mainly in French by the Assistant Commissioner of my Branch.

A year ago, I sat at the very same meeting and cursed every other word the man said in French, mainly because I didn't get the gist of his message. These all-staff meetings are feel good meetings for employees, to tell us how appreciated we are, and how valued our work is to the branch, the agency, and to all Canadian citizens (toot toot!). Last year, I thinkI missed my horn tooting opportunity because the man delievered his remarks to my division in French (and of course I was too stubborn to use a translating device), and when things wrapped up I was a litte more than bitter about the entire day.

But today ... I spent 6 hours going back and forth between French & English presentations and I GOT the message... ALL of the message, not just the english parts.

12 months ago... I was frustrated and upset that I was forced to listen to 6 horus of bilingual blabbering by high level management. Today, I felt like the meeting was productive, well-organized, and I actually learned a thing or two!

Amazing!

I don't often write posts about how well French is going, and this is definitely not a post that is admitting to that... but today was a small victory for me, perhaps a turning point in the training that I desperately need - a step in the right direction to say the least!

As ER is about to start, I will spend the rest of the night enjoying the fact that I actually might get through the rest of this language training nightmare!