Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Pass the kleenex please!

Can someone please explain why your body and hormones don't return to *normal* after pregnancy. It's been 15 months since I gave birth, and my teary eyed hormone (if that's a hormone) is still all out of whack.

What is the deal?

Before pregnancy, I basically was neck in neck with Stone Heart for teary eyeness - but since I got pregnant - I just well up at the drop of a hat, and I don't foresee this reaction going anywhere anytime soon.

I remember driving in my car at 5 months pregnant and listening to the CHEO (Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario) radio-a-thon. I was bawling listening to parents talk about how CHEO saved their son's life. Nobody died, nobody was fighting any disease -their family was in complete good health now, and there I was sobbing at the thought of what could have happened if CHEO was not around.

I knew at the time, it was just hormones, and I totally thought - push this baby out, and go back my Stone Heart ways.

However, an entire year later, I am still crying over the little sappy things. For instance, I watched Baby Story over the weekend.. and I was crying at the moment the mother pushed out her baby and saw him for the first time. It brought me right back to my delivery moment - and it was as if I had just delivered E. Brutal I tell you.

Last week at work, a woman who has worked for the government for 36 years retired. We threw her a surprise party and when she walked in she started crying, to which I started crying - who does that. I hate that. I look like a loser. I had to tell people I was teary eyed because I know I still have 25 years left until my surprise retirement party!

One other piece that is guaranteed to make me sob is watching this video on You Tube. It's a piece from Kelly Corrigan's book The Middle Place... and its just about woman and friendships and life in general - but every time I watch it, I can't help but cry. You would think after the 4th or 5th time I would be able to get through it without any tears - but that's just not the case. Pre-pregnancy I would have watched and said, that's nice... but post-pregnancy I am a leaky faucet.

I guess my only hope for recovery is that a second pregnancy would throw me so outta whack again - that it might put me back to my pre-pregnancy Stone Heart state. But... since a second baby isn't in the works for a while, I guess I better stock up on Kleenex!

Do any of you get this? I want a coping mechanism ... suggestions?

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