Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Blaming it all on the pinched nerve.

Yesterday I had a free consultation with a chiropractor. I have never had any type of chiro treatment in the past so it was a whole new experience to me, and one that turned out to be quite educational and reputation saving.

Dr. Keith Ellard, from Glebe Chiropractic held a Discover Day in which he offered new patients a consultation, complete with a thorough exam and x-rays, free of charge. Obviously the FREE part was an effort to drum up business, but I also found what he had to say quite beneficial to my stiff neck and lower back problems.

The consultation was yesterday, and today, I returned to his office for a follow-up appointment to discuss the x-rays and treatment options, if necessary.

It turns out I have some work to be done on my neck - specifically I have a pinched nerve, which is not allowing my brain to receive proper signals from the nervous system (or something to that effect). I was not really into any of the chiro jargon that he was using, until he told me that the effects of the pinched nerve could result in random loss of balance, clumsiness, dizziness, etc., as the nerve endings on my spine are being pinched causing the brain to malfunction, resulting in the random loss of common functions.

DING DING DING!

Hold up Doc... let's define common functions for the general public. Do common functions include walking, talking, and say... backing up your car into the garage?

Yes... that's what I thought Dr. Ellard... backing into the garage door was merely a symptom of the pinched nerve, resulting in the loss of a common function, driving. I took it from here to draw my own conclusions, but basically if this problem had been corrected prior to yesterday's incident, I could have avoided the damage to the Escape altogether, and the fact that I am now the laughing stock of the neighbourhood!

The good news is that Dr. Ellard is the same chiropractor that PC has been going to for a few years. PC happens to have an appointment on Friday, and Dr. Ellard is committed to telling him that the damage to the Escape and garage door are a result of me not seeking treatment sooner, and NOT my own stupidity.

Dr. Ellard is my new favourite medical professional. I have a new found respect for chiropractic treatment and the work that chiropractors do. I believe they should start advertising, not only that they can correct errors to spinal problems, but also that they specialize in repairing marital issues, which result from lack of treatment.

I feel much better today about yesterday's situation, as I now have an excuse! I also believe I can milk this pinched nerve for all that it's worth. I will be telling my clients tomorrow: I wanted to review your communication products, but with my 'condition', I forgot - loss of a common function you see.... its highly common in patients with spinal cord conditions!

I love it!

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