Thursday, May 18, 2006

Scared in my house!

Its has been raining here all day, and of course since I am home alone tonight, it has to start thundering and lightning so much that it shakes the house and threatens the power lines. For the last hour I have sat on the couch, clutching a pillow in front of me, watching CSI and praying to god that the power doesn't actually go out.

I don't know what is about being home alone that freaks me out, but it does FREAK ME OUT. P is New Hampshire golfing for the next few days, and while I generally enjoy having the house (and bed) all to myself, I really am a bit nervous when I know that I will be in the house all night - ALONE. The thunder storm only adds to the creepy scary environment... and all I need now is to get a prank phone call or have the door bell ring (which would most definitely send me into cardiac arrest).

I like to pretend I am brave and independent when it comes to things like this, but the truth be told I am scared shitless. Since P has departed I have been scared to go into the basement by myself. I wanted to do some laundry tonight, but screw that, I am not going down there! Our basement is sound proof... everytime you are down there a herd of elephants could run through the house and you would not hear a thing. I don't want to be down there for half an hour by myself as god knows what could be going on upstairs when I am not there to supervise.

I know... I am paranoid, but seriously, when I shut the lights off downstairs to go upstairs, I practically take a face plant going up the stairs because I am trying to get to the top as fast as I can. When I was younger, it was the same way at my parent's house. My Dad use to work away a lot, so it was just my Mom at home with Erin and I. Since Mom went to be at 7:30 every night, Erin and I would fight over who had to turn the lights off last before coming upstairs. I hated having to do that job...I would turn them off and then do the same thing every time ... Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

I think the whole paranoia thing stems from the times when I was about 12 and my parents would let me stay home alone on Saturday nights for a few hours while they attended a function or visited the neighbours. I would get on the couch, with the lights turned off, and watch Unsolved Mysteries...dun dun duhhhhhhhhh. The host of the show had a deep voice and I can still remember him standing at the scenes of the crimes and announcing 'this crime has never been sloved and remains an unsolved mystery today' - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Since the thunder is good and loud now, and the lightning is frequent enough, I think I will publish this post, get into bed, and analyse every sound I hear until I exhaust myself into a deep sleep. And just when I hit that exhaustion point, if I know my husband well enough he will probably call about midnight, just to say I love you and scare the shit out me even more!