Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I've hit a wall

WARNING: the following is a bitch session, act like you care, but really pay no attention.

Today was a not so successful day of French training. I was basically on the verge of tears at the end of the day when I completed an oral exercise in front of the class. I thought I did OK (not standing ovation material, but as good as anyone else in the class), however, according to the teacher... I have beaucoup de travail de faire (A LOT OF FREAKIN WORK TO DO).

I was none too pleased with the assessment. I don't know what it is lately, but my so-called evaluators could use a lesson in constructive critism. Each time I see them, they brush over the constructive part and head straight for the critism. It was apparent today that I have a hit a wall - a large wall that I can't seem to climb over, and I am frustrated as hell.

I literally would take up waitressing if it would pay the bills the same as my current salary. I usually have the attitude 'I am privledged to have the opportunity to learn a second language at no cost...' blah blah blah - but today I am not feeling so privledged - if this is privledged... shoot me now!

For me, it all boils down to the teachers. While I have one pretty decent teacher every afternoon, I just don't feel like the program is not cut out for me. It never stimulates my interests for longer than 5 minutes at a time, and if I can think of an excuse not to do the damn writing exercises, I will milk it until the cows come home.

I long for the French teacher I had back when I was in the office. She was a great person who was easy to talk to about any subject, and the best part was she actually understood both French and English well enough to know what hang ups analogphones have about learning French as a second language. Every day I think of how much more fun class would be if she was still my teacher (Pauline I miss yooooooooooooooou). I think I learned more from her in a week of a part time classes, then I have learned in my whole 4 months with this crazy school (prison) that they have me locked up in now.


Okay...THERE ... it's out! I am miserable once again - I don't know how I will get through another 8 months of this B.S.

Everyone who has been through it before me tells me you eventually wake up one day and just get it. Everything will fall into place ... and you will forget about the days when you couldn't speak any French at all.

So...if that is true....I AM W..A..I..T..I..N..G - waiting for the moment to strike me.

Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock
Tick tock

Okay, I'm sick of waiting -- I am going to call it a night, and wish a deep sickness upon my teacher tomorrow so that we can leave early (just kidding - I am not that eviil, but if anyone knows of a mild substance that could induce .... ahhhh.... right, nevermind - GOOD NIGHT!)