An honest look in the mirror...

Do you have those times where you look in the mirror and think 'Wow, I look pretty good today' and then 10 minutes later you walk by the same mirror but catch a glimpse of yourself at a different angle and that feeling goes speeding down the express way faster than you can say chocolate covered almonds.

I'm not fat, but I'm not a skinny person either.  I'll never be someone who people say 'She's a stick', or 'there's nothing to her', and I'm good with that. But I don't want to become the person that people say 'wow she really packed on the weight after she had kids' or 'she used to be MUCH thinner'.

I am almost two months post-pregnancy and while I am fitting back into my old clothes just fine (there are perks to breast feeding), I have been asking myself if I was really happy with my body pre-second-pregnancy. And seriously, how long can I hold onto the crutch of 'I look okay for JUST having a baby'?

I have had never had the crazy yo-yo weight problems, but I have gone up or down 10 to 15 pounds through the course of my life, and these gains and losses were mostly associated with major events in life: break-up with high-school boyfriend (down 10 to 15)), starting university/moving away from home  (up 15 - as in frosh 15), meeting PC (down 10), and finally a year of hell on French training (up 10).  I am anticipating that having two kids could also go on that list, but I am hoping the weigh goes down instead of up.

Throughout my life, I have been active, but never stuck to one exercise program that gained a ton of results. I use to go to the gym in University but even then, it was always at my convenience.  I don't think I am a gym person to be honest.  The idea of going to the gym, and saying you went to the gym sits well with me, but the actually function of going there does not in the least bit excite me.

I have never been a runner, but I think I want to start running when the snow clears. I don't know why, because you couldn't have paid me any amount of money to run in my early school days. I hated track n' field and cross-country running. Ab.sol.ute.ly hated it. But for some reason, I feel like this is something I can do now that I am older and maybe even enjoy?  (I'll keep you posted on this one FOR SURE).

I think while the exercising will come, its the eating that I really need to get a grip on.  Right now, I think E has been wearing off on me with his need for 'treat-ties' every hour on the hour.  I have come to be that way since the beginning of the third trimester of my pregnancy.  I had a treat every afternoon and sometimes early evening and felt I could because I was pregnant. Now, post-pregnancy, my body is still craving those treats, and I have a hard time telling it NO. I am constantly wanting to snack on high-calorie, high-sugar/salt treats - and the real problem is, I have them in the house so they are easily accessible (even though I like to think I have self-control).

I'm still breast-feeding but I am hoping to get out of that business in the next couple months, so the while I can get away with the extra calories now with little consequences, its going to be a sad reality when I get my boobs back, and there is no where for the weight to go except to straight to my hips, ass, and stomach (a moment on the lips forever on the hips).

Do any of you struggle with the snacking factor, or weight gain and loss? Any tips, advice, secrets? I would love to hear for any beginner runners too, if there is any advice for people like me who are *thinking* of starting out.