Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Do I mumble or is he hard of hearing...?

At our house... PC and I have this on-going battle about whether I mumble when I talk or he is just plain hard of hearing.

Now... since this is my blog and not PC's... you know how this one is gonna go, but I am sure in PC's world, on PC's non-existent blog, you know who would win in his version.

I don't remember this so-called battle being evident back when we first got together, after all... the annoying habits never come to light until the young love phase wears off, but ... for a few years now we have been going back and forth on the issue.

The evidence I have stacking up against PC goes like this:

  • Whenever I talk... whether we are at the dinner table, down the hallway, or in the next room... he shouts 'WHAT?' as if he is an old man who is... (wait for it)... hard of hearing!
  • If he stays up late watching TV, and I get up early and turn on the TV, its on at least 10 notches above what I consider an acceptable volume for the hearing elite.
  • When he talks on the phone... he talks louder (than me), like someone *might* do when they think the other person can't hear them or perhaps, they can't hear themselves.
  • I hear him saying 'WHAT?' to other people he talks with... not just me.
In his defense (and you know it will be a weak one)... he's got this on me:
  • Whenever I talk... whether we are at the dinner table, down the hallway, or in the next room... he shouts 'WHAT?' as if he is listening to a woman who mumbles.
  • And...
Clearly... he's got to be hard of hearing!

Its funny, because now that we have E in the family... I laugh as we use him to communicate to one another.

Earlier in the evening, I was downstairs surfing the net, when I let out an 'oh', as I discovered something online. PC says to me... 'what?' - not the hard of hearing WHAT?, the 'I clearly heard you... what did you say oh for' what?

It was really an internal oh that accidentally escaped... so I said 'I found a yoga class for the .... nevermind' (as it was unimportant and I knew he could care less about yoga).

Then he gave me the hard of hearing WHAT? To which E gives a grunt, and PC says to him: I didn't hear what she said either... she's mumbling again!

I will go as far as to admit that I do mumble... when what I am saying is not of importance, but when I want an answer... I make sure I speak up, and clearly make my statement, which leads me to believe that I mumble far less, than PC is hard of hearing.

Tonight for example... I yelled down to the basement to him:

Me: Is that dish loose on the roof? (because the winds were gusting at about 90kms/h)
PC: WHAT? (hard of hearing WHAT)

Me: The dish? Is it loose on the roof?
PC: WHAT. (double hard of hearing WHAT)

Me: The di... forget it (mumbling by now).

PC: Silence.

Now... you can't tell me, I was mumbling in the beginning of that exchange, I was yelling it, and yet NOTHING.

The only other conclusion I've come to is, if by some miracle PC's hearing is perfectly fine... then its gotta boil down to multi-tasking, which he will admit, he does not do. If when I am talking (not mumbling) he is watching Sports Centre or something else that he thinks is even one tenth more interesting than what I might be saying... he tunes out, and his go-to response is the hard of hearing WHAT?, which he doesn't want to admit to, so he chalks it up to me mumbling, therefore he is not in the wrong - typical male!

I have a feeling... we'll still be going at this one in 50 years, which by that time, he will definitely be hard of hearing, and I will most likely be mumbling about him being hard of hearing for 50 years!

Oh the joys of marriage!

What fun little back n' forth battles do you have with your significant other... ? Any that you would like to share?