Friday, November 14, 2008

Phantom Crying

Since I have been home with E, I have become a victim of phantom crying.

I can't seem to put E down for a nap and walk up or downstairs without thinking that as soon as I am out of earshot - he is crying for me.

This easily happens to me at least 20 times a day.

It goes from one extreme to the other ... I hear the phantom crying, so I rush to E's bedside only to see that he looks so still that I wonder if he's actually breathing. To this end, I have to hold my finger under his nose until I feel the hot air on it to convince myself that he is in fact only sleeping.

I am not sure if its my guilty conscious thinking that I shouldn't be doing anything else in a day but tending to him, or if its just plain old new mother paranoia... but its becoming fairly annoying.

I swear if I lived in a glass house... my neighbours would think I am a crazy woman as I am constantly dashing up the stairs at lightning speed and then once I see he is still sleeping, I am casually walking back down the stairs as if nothing happened.

The same goes for when I am in the shower... sometimes I think I hear him screaming, so I shut the water off in the shower, but when the water stops... I don't hear a thing.

Does this happen to anyone else or just me?

How long does this phantom crying phase last... I am hoping that I settle in soon - but in the meantime its the start of a great weight loss program, climbing the stairs all. the. time!

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