Monday, September 03, 2012

T'was the night before kindergarten!

So here we are... the night before E's first day of school, first day of junior kindergarten.

I am filled with so many emotions tonight... a bit of excitement, a bit of nerves, and the urge to cry just a little.

How can it be, that the little baby boy who stole my heart almost four years ago has now grown into an independent little man who is now able to hop on a school bus and start kindergarten. Every day for the last four years, I have been amazed at this little boy - and I am sure tomorrow will be no different.

I hugged him just a little tighter tonight, and told him I loved him about a dozen extra times above normal. His excitement is contagious, and I am hoping that my nervousness for him is not. I am excited for what is to come for him, all of the new opportunities, and a different way of exploring the world around us, but I am also nervous for the many encounters he may experience, where PC or I won't be there to help him or give him that extra nudge of encouragement that I know he sometimes needs.

This going to school thing is turning out to be harder on me than it is on him. I wish I could bottle up his enthusiasm for riding the bus (and then shoot it back to him when he's 16 and hating the bus). I wish I could somehow protect his innocent view of the world and head off any cruelty that may come his way during his school years. These are little things that keep me up at night lately. The unknown world of what the school years will hold for him. Will he be kind, will he be smart, will he be sporty... there are so many paths this first day of kindergarten can take... and yet all I want for him is to enjoy learning and have friends that like him for who he is.

As much as I am dreading the negative things that come along with going to school, I am too looking forward to the personal accomplishments he will experience by being a member of a classroom, and all of the wonderful things he will bring home, telling us all about what he has learned, or what he got to do at school.

Of course, there will be moments where I am sure I will less than impressed by something he may be involved with, but I hope that in some small way PC and I can be there to keep him on the right track and guide him down the path that allows him to make good decisions in difficult situations.

Ahh, the pressure that is going to kindergarten!

Tomorrow will be a big day all around. Big for E, and definitely big for Mommy & Daddy.

Emery, I want you to know how very special you are to both Daddy and I. We can't wait to see you take the bus in the morning, and meet your teacher, and unpack your school bag in your new classroom. It's going to be a great day all around (even if there will be a few tears).

Good luck tomorrow on your first day of school... and as always, lots of love.

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