Thursday, June 15, 2006

When bad underwear happen to good people

So... I need to get this off my chest, as I have been rather distributed the last few weeks, (since the nice weather began), when I have noticed many women who just need a lesson in wearing appropriate underwear.

There are two extremes to this 'what not wear' segment.

The first is the mid 30s to 40s women who wear nice slacks (yeah... that's right I said slacks!), or skirts that are sleeky contoured to their butts, but they insist on wearing bulky full back underwear with seams. Even baggy slacks show the lines. The sad part is that these women are wearing these underwear because they are comfortable, but who wants to know exactly what type of underwear a person is sporting. They leave nothing to the imagination. It bothers me to know that Mrs. XYZ is wearing high cut full backs that make her bum look hungry - clearly a case of too much information.

The other extreme of the underwear saga is the young teenie boppers (or not so teenie), who have just discovered the thong. The thong was invented to prevent the bulky underwear lines that result from wearing bum-grabbing slacks, but these kids aren't wearing slacks... NOPE... the are wearing low cut-low rise jeans with their ass cracks hanging out, and then the thong is nicely situated over the waist line.

HELLO people...??

The crowd of ladies that insists on full backs need to take the plunge and buy a few thongs for when the slacks shows the lines OR invest in some decent no line full back underwear (YES - they do exist). Not every pair of pants or every skirt needs a thong... all it takes is a few mintues to check out your bum in the mirror and then make a decision. If your underwear line shows, either change your underwear or change your pants. It is that easy.

As for the young-ins... you can wear a thong all you want, but nobody wants to see it. They make low-rise thongs to go with the low rise jeans, so invest the extra $3 dollars and get yourself some to go with your jeans... AND while you're at it, get a belt!

Of course, I am sure at some point in my life I have been victim to the full back panties with slacks, but I learned my lesson and have since moved forward. There is no age limit on thongs... and of course full backs are warranted when the pants agrees with it, but the bottom line is, no one wants to see your underwear (lines or no lines).

Deep breath.... and siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. Now that I've put that out there I can move on with my day!